When school is far from home

Hey all,

Just thought I’d throw in my two cents on a topic that might be weighing on many of your minds (and your parents’ minds) at some point: how far away college should be from home.  I left Ohio to go to school in California, so hopefully my experiences can add to the conversation Tyler started in his post.

My parents had pretty different views on me being far away.  My mom thought I should go wherever was best for me, and if that was far away, then so be it.  My dad was hoping I’d stay in the Midwest or end up on the east coast.  Even though I got into Stanford in December, it wasn’t until April that my dad warmed up to the possibility of me being out west for school.  It took a lot of discussion, and with good reason: being that far from home is a big deal for a close family.  However, the fact that I have relatives in the Bay Area eased some of my dad’s concerns.

Here are the lessons I’ve learned from 3 years living three time zones from my family:

1.  Geographic distance can be overcome somewhat by close relationships….

Going home takes longer and costs more, but my parents and I have made it a priority to get back when I can.  I’ve probably spent as much time back in Cleveland as most of my friends who go to school closer to home.  And keeping up by phone and email is something you can do as much as you want no matter how far from home you are.

2. …But say goodbye to flexible travel plans

What I’ve really lost by being so far away is spontaneity.  The closer you are, the easier it is to come home for a weekend on a whim if friends are in town or just to see your family.  Once you’re far enough that you have to fly, going home becomes something you have to plan in advance.

3. Having local connections helps when you’re far from home

My aunt and uncle live in the area, and they’ve been a huge plus in my college experience.  If I need emergency transportation, a place to crash, or just advice, they always come through.  If you’re going to strike out for a new part of the country, having relatives or family friends in the area makes more of a difference than exactly how many miles you are from home.

4. Distance doesn’t equal independence

Some people are excited to get away from their hometown or their parents.  If you’re one of them, just know that you don’t have to travel 3000 miles away to find what you’re looking for.  If it’s independence you seek, then I have good news: independence is totally unrelated to geography.  It’s about taking responsibility for yourself, and that’s something you can do anywhere.

-Ian